Ever had a rumour spread about you? Remember that feeling of frustration coupled with a nice fat layer of anger?
Or when you just know that someone doesn’t like you?
Or ever done something stupid and carried an enormous bag of shame around for weeks, even now when you think of it you cringe and want to crawl in a hole?
I’ve experienced this many times and have learned to de-rail these horrible feelings. You are not powerless. You can learn to not care what people think.
Come hither, let me explain;
I’ve asked the question, “why do you care so much what other people think?” many times. I frequently receive the same answers, “I don’t want people thinking that” or “because it’s not true”.
Well, that makes sense on the surface but doesn’t really answer the question.
The answers lay under a big ol’ umbrella of W’s:
- Why does this affect you?
- What are you afraid of?
- Will this directly affect your life?
Guess what it is that is waving it’s big ugly hands in front of your face while spewing, “feel these horrible feelings“?
Ego.
Your ego is your awareness of your identity and existence on a conscious level. When you feel like this has been damaged there’s a range of negative feelings eating away at you.
How To Not Care What People Think:
Here are the thoughts I go through personally to dispel the negative emotions of a damaged ego:
- It’s allowed to be damaged here and there. If anything, it keeps me humble.
- There will ALWAYS be those who have crappy opinions of me.
- I don’t need everyone to like me. Those that know me know what’s up and that’s what’s important.
- We all fuck up and feel stupid about it, it’s only natural that I get a turn even if it’s not my fault.
- It’s not my job to control the opinion of others.
- Does this directly affect my life?
- I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
- They can go ahead and not like me, they’re missing out on a great person.
Last but the MOST important is this philosophy that makes the biggest impact:
- What people think of me is NONE of my business.
(That’s a paraphrase from a quote but when trying to find out who it came from I found varying answers.)
In the case of gossip or rumours; I feel sorry for the person spreading such garbage. What is it in their lives that make them feel better about doing such shit? I’ll be fine and the dust will settle but they will continue living that way.
I now have the ability to negate nasty opinions of me easily by bitch slapping them with the thoughts and questions above. I am genuinely disinterested in worrying about what other people think of me. This can be you as well.
This works with practice. Pretty soon the opinions of others will bounce right off of you.
Boing! Boing!
